


Mages and Howes

by ShadowclanMC



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29221107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowclanMC/pseuds/ShadowclanMC
Summary: Anders left Nathaniel with nothing more then a regretful look before he left fir Kirkwall after allowing Justice to use him as a vessel. He's regretful that decision ever sense meeting him in the deep roads.It's been 2 years after the Kirkwall explosion and Nathaniel finally got a secessful lead to the person he wanted the most for over 10 years. Will Anders let him in?
Relationships: Anders/Nathaniel Howe
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10
Collections: A Dragon Age Valentine's 2021





	Mages and Howes

_ “It doesn’t have to end like this, I could go with you. We are a team Anders, always have been since the beginning.”  _ Those words were the last thing Anders heard from the rogue who accepted him without question. The man who was willing to drop everything he built to follow a mage who in a technicality was possessed. The man he left behind when he left for Kirkwall. Nathaniel Howe felt like home to him before he gave Justice a new vessel- himself. After he and Justice became one there was a nagging feeling that made him only think about how he was putting Nathaniel in danger being with him. Anders didn’t respond to Nathaniel that day, and he hoped in another life they would meet again. But, he would have never expected to find Nathaniel reaching his hand out to him after he's been on the run for two years, injured with an infected mabari bite. Not dressed in Grey Warden Armor, just drake scale armor the Hero of Ferelden gifted him, and the amulet he had gifted to him so many years ago. 

“Come on,” Nathaniel said in a gentle tone of voice. “We have to stick together. Howe’s and mages are the same, right?” 

“I am a wanted criminal, only spared because I happened to befriend someone with a heart too big to execute a friend.” Anders responded to pain in his leg and his heart beating in his chest. “I can’t do that to you Nathaniel.” 

“I’m choosing to be with the man who made me feel complete.” Nathaniel sat down and gently placed a hand on his leg causing Anders to flinch. “For a healer you’re really bad at taking care of yourself. Now I have a poultice that should ease the pain and we can get somewhere safer.” 

Anders felt a lump in his throat,  _ I made him feel complete? Is that why he reacted the way he did when Hawke went after him in the deep roads.  _ He watched as Nathaniel took out the poultice and uncovered the bite and grimaced before he preemptively took out bandages and as gently as possible started to put the poultice on the bite and covered it with clean bandages.  _ I don’t deserve this treatment. I don’t deserve him- no. Not him, not anyone. Why can’t he see that? _

“Maybe it will be better if we stay put and get this leg to heal,” Nathaniel said gently and then smiled at Anders. “Now, will you tell me why you’ve refused to heal your own leg? The last I knew you’re a spirit healer, and a talented mage.” 

“I haven’t-” Anders started but Nathaniel just gave him a raised eyebrow and Anders shook his head. “I decided I don’t deserve healing- I deserve every wound, affliction.” Everything was silent except the crackling of the fire Anders had started before, Anders refused to look at Nathaniel.  _ Maker say something! Anything, just stop the silence!  _

“Well that’s a stupid notion.” Nathaniel simply said and got into his pack and handed Anders a flask. “Drink some water, I’ll cook the meat I hunted before finding you, then you’ll start to heal your leg.” Nathaniel moved closer to the fire setting up to cook. 

Anders watched Nathaniel and then looked at the flask and sighed drinking the water.  _ He’s playing nursemaid to a wanted man. He deserves so much more. I am not worth his love or care, why can’t he see that? Why can’t I get through that to him?  _

“Are you going to actually drink or just brood at the flask?” Nathaniel asked, causing Anders to look up at him, “And, I am the one whose supposed to brood. I am the son of a man who tortured innocence and set motions that caused an entire noble family to die. A family I grew up being friends with.” He then chuckled focusing back on the rabbit he was cooking. “Funny how someone can forget his own advice, you told me not to focus on the past- yet look at you. So focused on the past you caused an infection in your leg.”

Anders looked away and took another drink from the flask,  _ I am the one that killed innocents. You are not your father- never were. The Maker has such a funny sense of humor.  _ He looked back to Nathiel to see that he was preparing a makeshift plate from a shield he was carrying.  _ Why was he carrying a shield?  _ “Why are you carrying a shield?” 

“Huh? Oh, I killed a templar on my way here- apparently I look like a man who would harbor apostates and need to be punished. I guess the bastard was right.” Nathaniel said so calmly yet his words caused an anger to rise in Ander’s chest.  _ No, not him. Why did templars have to come after him? And just because he looked like someone who’d break chantry law-  _ “This isn’t a good time, but it’s never a good time after the years that’s passed.” 

“Not a good time for what?” Anders asked as Nathaniel gave him the shield with food on it. 

“I’ve never stopped loving you,” Nathaniel said and chuckled scoffing. “I tried everything, one night stands, brothels, hell I let Oghren be my wingman. But everytime I couldn’t get you out of my head. I kept seeing you, I kept hearing your remarks. I eventually gave up after I saw you again in the deep roads with the Champion. I knew at that moment you were the only one, but the Maker made it clear that I couldn’t have you.” Anders felt his heart pounding and started to feel sick as he listened to Nathaniel pour his heart out. The light of the fire framed his face in a way that broke Ander’s heart. 

“Nathaniel.” Anders’ voice broke and he knew he couldn’t hide how much he hated that he put Nathaniel through torment. 

“I’m not finishedNathaniel gently said and gave Anders a small smile. “I gave up then, but if there was something our commander was always good at was mending broken hearts and romance. I mean they fixed Oghren’s and Felsi’s relationship while we were fighting two different factions of Darkspawn.” Nathaniel chuckled and shook his head. “They refused to let me give up, immediately looking into the stories of blond renegade healers. They found me the lead that led me here, with one request as repayment.”

“What was the request?” Anders asked softly his heart pounding in his chest and Nathaniel just smiled. 

“That I bring you with me and we join them on their journey to cure the calling.” Nathaniel answered and Anders' eyes went wide. 

“That’s what they are working on?” Anders asked and Nathaniel nodded, still smiling. “They want me along?” 

“The whole crew is with them, besides you and well…” Nathaniel said and looked away back at the fire. 

Anders moved closer to him and Nathaniel looked at him with a surprised look. “It’s okay, I know it’s a bit awkward.” Nathaniel looked away again with a pensive look on his face. “When we weren’t as fused he would often call me a coward for not reaching out to you.” Nathaniel looked directly at Anders this time. “I was a coward, I wanted to be able to tease and joke with you, I wanted to be able to put myself directly next to you in battle again. Chastise you for taking hits for me. Instead I kept all of that in my head and to myself, and fought with people who definitely wouldn’t appreciate a good tease.” 

“Anders, I don’t understand what-” Nathaniel started to say and Anders pulled him in for a kiss. When he broke away Nathanial had a bright red blush. 

“I love you, I always have.” Anders said and then shook his head. “You deserve someone better than me. You deserve so much more than a wanted apostate who will keep you on the run.” 

“Anders that isn’t true,” Nathaniel said as he took Anders' hand. “I don’t deserve someone better because I want you, I need you.” Nathaniel then shook his head and took a deep breath. “Meeting you and falling for you is the one thing that kept me going all these years. I had someone to fight for. My little brother died during the war, my sister is a capable woman. The only person I really have is you.” 

Anders felt tears welling in his eyes as Nathaniel held onto his hands tightly and Anders then broke and started to cry. “Fuck, Nathaniel- I am so sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry!” Nathaniel yelled his own tears falling down his face. “Just fucking take care of yourself and come with me! Help me and the commander find a cure for the calling. Help me tease Velanna, joke with Ohgren, talk about books with Sigrun, lament about amerathing with the commander- Just be with me again.” 

Anders could feel his heart beating in his chest as him and Nathaniel stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then Nathaniel rested his forehead on Ander’s letting out a shaky breath. Anders closed his eyes and moved kissing Nathaniel again- this time Nathaniel kissing him back his hands moving up to cup Anders face. Anders moved his own hands to Nathaniel’s hips. They pulled back and Nathaniel moved the shield out of the way and he sat on top of Ander’s lap resting his forehead against Anders’ again. 

“I, I missed this.” Nathaniel said breathlessly, keeping his eyes closed. “It feels like a dream to be doing this- Maker I can’t-” 

“I’m not disappearing this time, I can promise that.” Anders said and moved one of hands to Nathaniel’s cheek and Nathaniel opened his eyes. “You will be who I fight for, we’ll stay together to whatever end we get, Maker willing it will be a good one.” 

Nathaniel had a small smile and moved his head into Ander’s shoulder and Anders wrapped his hands around Nathaniel’s waist.  _ Maker, I could stay like this forever. Please don’t let anything happen to him. Please.  _

“You need to eat,” Nathaniel said slowly moving off of Anders making sure not to hit his leg. “Then you need to start the healing process on that leg so we can meet with the commander.” 

“Any chance we’ll see whos, whats, or whys?” Anders asked, causing the two of them to laugh as Nathaniel brought ANders the food again once more. “Oh it was shameful how long it took me to come up with that joke.” 

“It is a classic, eat.” Nathaniel said sternly and Anders shook his head, starting to eat and for the first time in two years he felt at peace watching as Nathaniel started to cook his own food.  _ Maker, I am luckier than I should be.  _


End file.
